Once A Warbler Always A Warbler
by Anderwarbler
Summary: fter graduation, Blaine meets up with an old friend who has a gift for him, a gift that makes him doubt his choices. (Warning: Seblangst out the eARS)


….

Blaine's footsteps echo through the quiet auditorium as he steps towards center stage, he lets out a sigh and shoves his hands deep into his pockets. It's late, almost three in the morning, and he knows he probably shouldn't be here but while he was at the after graduation party his phone rang, a text from an old friend coming through asking to meet here and well, he'd always had a hard time telling him no. He said a few quick goodbyes and told a white lie to his fiance before leaving the party and coming straight back to the place where he'd just walked the stage hours ago. It was a weird feeling, no longer being a student. This wasn't his stage anymore, this wasn't his town anymore, even. He'd be off to New York with Kurt soon and all of the memories made in Ohio, in Lima, at McKinley, in Westerville, at Dalton, would be just that. Memories.

His mind drifts to Dalton and all of his old friends there and he feels a tug at his heart and a sadness that he can never quite push away. Memories and regret, actually. A part of him had always felt horrible for leaving them behind. The word "abandoned" haunts him every so often, in a voice he could never quite rid of either. A big part of him wishes he would have graduated with the Warblers instead of the New Directions. He had always been so torn between the two, and ever since he'd turned down Hunter and Sebastian's offer to join them again, he always thought he made a big mistake by letting the Warblers go. And as his mind drifts there, it also goes straight toward a specific Warbler who he thinks about sometimes still to this day, the memories of them meeting for coffee how ever many times a week, speaking on the phone late at night when everyone else was asleep, sharing secrets like they'd been best friends their whole lives, how the other just let him in through the walls that were so obviously there with other people, the forbidden feelings, stomach flutters, heart skippings, wondering if letting him go was a mistake, too.

Taking a deep breath, he shakes his head, his thoughts of regret and mistakes scattering back into the dark corners of his mind. He's made his choice - _choices_ \- and he's sticking to them. McKinley, New York, NYADA, Kurt. They're all what's right for him.

He hopes.

He smiles a little to himself when he hears the side door open and close, turning towards the audience to see his company walking through the rows of seats.

"And here I thought you hated the stench of public schools." He says teasingly as the taller warbler comes out of the darkness, stepping up onto the stage and the lights, his signature smirk etched in his lips.

"Nice to see you, too, Killer."

The sight of him, his green eyes, his tall frame, the nickname, his freckles, it all hits Blaine hard and it takes his breath away for a moment just like he had when his eyes first landed on Sebastian Smythe. His stomach turns as his heart skips a beat.

He takes a moment, shaking his head and chuckling softly, pulling himself together as he smiles at his friend. "What was so important that I had to meet you at three in the morning in the one place you hate?"

An actual smile pulls at Sebastian's lips as he shakes his head. "It's not so bad when you're the only one here." This causes Blaine to blush, speechless once again as he looks to his feet. "We missed you today at graduation."

Blaine sighs softly, nodding, feeling a pang of guilt. "I…Sebastian you know how I feel about that can-" He stops when Sebastian holds his hand up.

"Hey, no, I didn't come here to make you feel bad." His voice is soft, sincere, like the way it would be back when they spoke regularly, when he'd share something with Blaine that he had never told anyone else. "I just came here to give you this." Reaching into the satchel slung across his shoulder, pulling out a navy blue blazer with red piping that causes a wide smile to appear on the shorter's face.

"Seb," He chuckles, shaking his head. "What is this for?"

Sebastian smiles, handing over the blazer. "A graduation present."

He just grins a little more, holding the blazer close to him. He loves the Dalton blazer, nothing ever made him prouder than slipping that on every day and performing with his best friends. His smile fades a little as he thinks about them and how disappointed they all were when he left and then when he chose to stay gone. "Why…why would you guys want me to have this? Like you said, I abandoned them."

"And like I said, once a Warbler always a Warbler, right?" He says with a half smile, something in his eyes that Blaine can't quite put his finger on.

Smiling a little, Blaine nods. "Sebastian, thank you for this." He says, holding the blazer close to him. "You…you knew exactly what I needed."

Sebastian shrugs a little, shoving his hands in his pockets, shuffling his feet a little, the walls coming up around him almost visibly and it almost breaks Blaine's heart to know that he's not allowed behind them anymore. "Yeah, well…we've always known each other pretty well."

"I know," He nods again, biting on his lip.

After a moment of silence, the two look at each other, unspoken thoughts and words floating in the air, hoping to be let out, but they never are. "Are you happy?" Sebastian finally breaks the silence and it's the question Blaine didn't want to have to answer in front of him. Because honestly, he feels a little uncertain and he knows that Sebastian could see that.

Sighing softly, a small smile crosses Blaine's face. "Yeah, I am."

Sebastian nods. "Good, I'm…I'm glad you are." He tugs his bottom lip between his teeth, shaking his head. "I want you to be so happy, Blaine. No one deserves it more than you." His voice has gotten even softer, the walls around him going down a little as he let's Blaine see the side of him that no one else has the privilege of seeing, his vulnerable side.

Swallowing the hard lump that has formed in his throat, Blaine lets out a soft breath, the emotional tension that swirls in the air around them in the big auditorium almost making him feel as if he's drowning. "That…that means a lot to me, Seb." He says, nodding. "I-I want you to be happy, too. You deserve it more than anyone I know." His voice is now nothing but a soft whisper, disguising the shake in it as he feels his eyes burn, this feels like a goodbye, a permanent one that he never wanted to face.

The taller sucks in a deep breath, letting it out as he nods once more, finally lifting his gaze from the floor to Blaine. "I'll get there." He says, a half smile disappearing almost as fast as it appears. "I should probably get going…some of the guys are waiting on me and I'm sure your…fiance…is waiting on you."

Blaine doesn't say anything more, he just casts his eyes down, nodding his head, trying to hold himself together but the tone of Sebastian's voice is making it hard. He can hear the sadness in it, the sadness for something that was lost forever that probably could've been great.

"Well, goodbye, killer. Maybe I'll see you around someday." He offers his hand to Blaine to shake.

Blaine looks at it for a moment before looking at Sebastian, green eyes meeting gold for the first time in forever, mutual feelings that could never be exchanged in the silence with just a look. He doesn't take Sebastian's hand, instead he gets closer to him, lifting up to press his lips softly against the taller's cheek, his arms slipping around his waist tightly.

His breath hitching slightly, Sebastian leans his cheek against Blaine's lips, letting his eyes fall closed as he wraps his arms around the other's shoulders.

They both hold each other tight for a long moment, letting themselves melt into the embrace, breathing each other in. Sebastian's heart skips a beat and Blaine's stomach flutters but neither of them would admit it to the other.

"You take care of yourself, okay Seb?" He whispers against Sebastian's ear, sending a chill down the other's spine.

Sebastian nods, closing his eyes tighter. "I promise."

They let go of each other and the tension still lingers in the air thickly, Blaine is halfway in the mindset of kissing the other but Sebastian turns to leave before he has a chance to, leaving him in the middle of the stage alone to catch his breath. His eyes never leave the green-eyed Warbler as he walks towards the door, a layer of tears glossing his eyes as he feels his hands shaking slightly. His eyebrow quirks up when he notices Sebastian stopping just as his hands touch the door, he doesn't look at Blaine, but still he speaks, just barely loud enough for Blaine to hear him.

"I really love… _loved_ you, you know."

The words shake Blaine right to his core and he almost can't hold back the sob that crawls up his throat. But he does, and he nods. "I know." He takes a shaky breath. "And you know that I-"

"I know." Sebastian cuts him off, nodding himself. "Just not enough." He shakes his head, looking up at Blaine once more, smiling softly. "It's okay. Goodbye, Blaine."

When Sebastian's finally gone and the door shuts with a loud thump, it echoes through the large room, shaking him again. He closes his eyes tight and takes a deep breath but it doesn't help. He sits down in the middle of the stage, holding the blazer and his legs tightly against him and he lets the tears and the sobs he's been holding in out.

….

He finally pulls himself together enough to drive home, going up to his room and shutting the door. Rubbing his already very red eyes, he sniffles, placing the blazer on the bed as he changes into his pajamas.

He sighs softly as he looks down at the blazer, letting his fingers run down the red piping, a sad smile on his face as they gently run over the crest. Picking it up and going over to his mirror, he slips it on. But as he does, he notices it doesn't fit him right, it hangs low on his arms, almost past his fingertips. His forehead wrinkles, his eyebrows knitting together as he turns a little, noticing that it covers his butt completely. "Hm, that's weird." He says to himself, slipping the blazer off to look at the tag - it was required that you write your initials in the tag of your blazer so they would never get mixed up - and sure enough his initials weren't there. His heart fell into his stomach and it all twisted as he saw the initials there.

 ** _S.S._**

With tears welling up in his eyes again, he slipped the blazer back on, wrapping it tightly around himself before lying in his bed, crying himself to sleep, doubts running through his mind.

Maybe seeing Sebastian again wasn't just about the blazer or saying goodbye. Maybe that was the universe's way of giving him yet another chance to go after something he did in fact want.

Maybe he had just made a huge mistake in letting Sebastian go. Again.


End file.
